


Longing

by Sheikahwriter



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/M, Multi, Unrequited Love, Warning Claude ends up alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22220965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheikahwriter/pseuds/Sheikahwriter
Summary: Claude has been longing for someone for years, and it's time he opens his heart.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan, My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Longing

“He has already taken quite a toll on Byleth. In fact, this morning she was a bit sick,” Dimtri laughed, leaning his head on top of hers.

“Oh, stop it. You don’t know what it’s like to hold another human in your stomach, dear,” she smiled, knowing he was just making small talk.

Claude sat back lazily, his tea cup in one hand and the small saucer in the other. His legs were lazily crossed, as he took a gulp of the Sweet Apple Spice tea.

“By, I know you’re stronger than to let a little baby get the best of you,” Claude snickered back.

“Like you have much to say, mister ‘I’m scared of ice skating.’” Byleth shot back. The three of them laughed. He watched as Dimitri’s hand slid across his wife’s, her hand turning over.

His eyes narrow a bit as he wished it was his hand.

“To think, we’ll have our own son,” Dimitri smiled weakly. “Our child…”

“A future.”

His dream.

It was a peaceful world--one where the King and Queen of Faerghus could easily have a child where no one bats an eye. Claude dreamed of such a place, one where he wouldn’t be awake every night questioning his decisions to break the border, knowing it could be so much easier.

Everything would be easier if he ended up with Byleth.

While searching for unity in Fodlan, he found her. She was perfect for his plan, and he was on for the idea to have her. And somehow, his emotions flourished and he no longer wanted her to be the house leader, but also wanted to be with her. Watching her fight was an experience and he learned from her. Seeing her at the dinner table where he would pull up a chair next to Dimitri to hear her stories was mesmerizing and exciting. In the end, he just wanted to kiss her as he said his farewell to them in Derdriu. He was longing. She had his heart, and since that moment on, she was his second vision.

But at the capital, he planned to return that night to confess his feelings. But instead, he watched as Dimitri place a hand on her back as they walked away. His eyes narrowed, his shoulders dropped, and he knew leaving would only make his heart be further and further away from him as he laid in Almyra under the endless sky, wondering when the right time would be to announce his return to his father.

He returned empty-handed. And for once, he was lost on where to go. There was no scheme. Byleth  _ was _ his scheme. She would have made things so much easier. Now, it looked as if the strong Almyran was running from the fight, when really, he had no part in it between Edelgard, Dimitri, and Byleth.

He felt so strongly that he had no part with Byleth, and she had simply stolen a part of him and left. He would still think of her sometimes and how easier things would be if he had her; he was longing for her, staring at the stars in the sky, thinking she would be doing the same. It was a hopeless desire that only brought him pain.

He knew that as easy as things would be if he had Byleth, he would also treasure her. He would lean into her ear, whisper poetic words of love and affection. He wanted to hold her hand, or slip his hand around her waist to feel the curve of her body. He knew his hand would fit perfectly against her cheek, and he would pull her in for a kiss.

Dimitri kissed his wife on the lips, and Claude watched the love blossom in Byleth’s eyes as she gazed into his. They didn’t turn away, not until Claude made sure to make noise putting down his teacup and saucer.

“I think I’m going to turn in for the night. I’ll see you both in the morning.”

It was a quick good night, probably the quickest he ever had given them. There was no hugging like normal or hand kisses, just him scurrying out of the room, closing the door. He stepped down the hall at a quicker pace than normal, heading to the library to clear his mind. Usually he could shake thoughts of Byleth with a quick read, but the words were slapping him in the face this time.

The image was scarred into his mind--Dimitri’s hand sliding over Byleth’s, her face closing into his. Why couldn’t it be him instead?

He slammed the book closed, running his hand through his hair. He knew why. He knew if Byleth had chosen him, Dimitri would no longer be here. He knew deep down that Dimitri would be consumed by revenge, and no matter how hard Claude would try, he knew that no one truly had the time to help him, even if they wanted to. 

Now, Dimitri’s life turned around completely as he kissed his wife sweetly, expecting a beautiful child.

And that child will be so damn beautiful--

He stood up and walked outside to the balcony. He leaned over the railing, lowering his head. 

If him and Byleth had a child, would he suffer through the same thing Claude did? He wondered how he would handle it and how he would protect his son. Even with Byleth, would the unity of the countries really be easier? Humans are cruel creatures who will hurt you, as young Claude learned. They can even hurt you without them even knowing it.

“Late night reading?”

He turned, seeing Byleth approach his side, “Yeah, you know, I feel like I’d be more accepted by your people if I knew a bit more of the history. I know a lot, but it never feels like enough. Your people are pretty prideful.”

She laughed, “They’re not my people, but I understand you completely. I never feel like I can know enough about Faerghus. It’s unique. And I still want to learn so much more.” There was a pause, “Almyra, too. You’ve kept it so hidden from us, and I really want you to share it so much more.”

He cleared his throat, “Really? You’re that interested?”

Byleth nodded excitedly, “Absolutely. To think there was a whole different side of you I didn’t get to see.”

For a moment, he wondered if it would have changed the outcome of their lives at all.

“What’s wrong, Claude?”

He turned to her with a shrug, “What? Nothing.”

“No, you never leave without a hug. This trip you feel more distant. Your letter reply when we told you we were going to have a child was so quick too, not like your previous poetic works. Is everything okay in Almyra?”

Good, she cared about his country. Why couldn’t he have told her earlier so that this care would have grown so much faster? She could have fallen for his desire for a peaceful world and be on his side.

“It’s a little rough, as expected. They’ll get used to me eventually, but that damn border…”

“You normally don't let that get to you. What's wrong?” she said with a sigh. “I know you’re struggling with something inside of yourself. Please, be open with us. At least be open with me.”

There was silence. He stood frozen, staring at the garden in the courtyard. There was one spot his eyes locked on, and he imagined Byleth and her family playing in the small overgrowth. He pressed his lips together, not breaking his gaze with the ground.

“Please...please don’t tell Dimitri.”

She was quiet for a moment, “Whatever you say, I’m sure he can hear it too. You know he cares about you also. But I trust you, and I won’t say anything.”

Maybe this was his chance to say it. There was no easy way to say it, because every way would require him to explain that all this time he spent with them was not a plot to steal her from him. He searched his mind for the proper phrasing, trying to figure out how to explain his complete adoration for her.

“I fell in love with you.”

She was silent for a moment, Claude's heart racing. He knew he had to keep talking before she jumped to conclusions, but it was just going to get harder and harder.

"I've felt this way for a while, and I thought it would disappear while we were apart, but no. I still love you as much as I did."

He said enough for now, so he waited for an answer.

"I'm so sorry," was all she managed to say at first. "You know--"

"I know you're married to him, and that's fine. I don't want to see you two split apart, and my intention was actually to never win you over. I just enjoy seeing you happy, and him too. But I always wondered if you could ever be happy with me."

He paused, breathing in slowly. “I noticed when you both left Derdriu, seeing you walk away with someone else was so difficult for me. I felt like I had missed the chance to say so much to you. I thought about returning that night, actually.”

He instantly remembered the moment that sealed his fate. Whether it be an act of friendship or romance, Dimitri placed his hand on her back. Dimitri was healing, Byleth was with him, and Claude was leaving. There was no changing their agenda, it was time for fate to move forward, despite what was ahead.

"It was a lost cause, at that point. But for some reason, I still think of you. I think of you with me, in Almyra together. I think of you and how I would keep growing out my hair because I know that's what you love. I think of how badly I wanted to give you a bright world for the both of us."

"Claude…"

"But deep down, I know it would have been wrong. I know he wouldn't have made it." 

He gripped the railing. "So many people have died, and I'm glad he wasn't one of them. But it still  _ hurts _ . I get jealous, but then I think of him. You helped him. I needed help, but in a different way. He needed to survive. You helped him and are helping him live, something I was already doing.”

Byleth shook her head, "You can't give me all the credit. You're helping him live too. Thanks to you, while he has our family, he had a friend he can trust. And even if you don't believe it, you're family to us too."

He smiled, his eyes glancing to hers. He watched as she pressed her lips together, "I never knew you felt that way about me. I don't really know how I feel, but I feel sorry for the fact that you suffered for so long and we had no idea. I'm sorry, Claude."

"It's okay. I just wanted to get it off of my chest. Your son, he will be so happy here with you both--"

"And with his uncle."

It still stung. Despite the fact they both wanted him here, he couldn't help but feel inadequate for them, especially Byleth since he felt like he failed in winning her heart.

He paused, turning from her, "Sorry, but you have to give me some time with that one."

She nodded, "Yes. I'm sorry."

He gulped, then turned his body to Byleth. He opened his hand, palm up, waiting to accept her hand into his. She was reluctant at first, but then rested her hand gently in his.

"Byleth, I love you. And I don't know when I will stop, or if it will ever. But I love you enough to see you happy, no matter the cost. Even if it isn't with me."

He turned her hand over, placing a ring in her bare palm. He heard her tiny gasp, and could see her eyes welling with tears.

"I've kept this ring. It's my mother's. She gave it to me before I left for Garreg Mach, for when I would get engaged. I guess she was expecting me to fall in love. And I did."

"I can't--"

He closed her hand, "No, please. I know where my heart belongs. Take it as a sign of our friendship, if anything. I don't need to hold onto it anymore. I don't think I could adore anyone as much as you."

She opened her palm again, holding up the ring and spreading her fingers for him. He took the ring from her, sliding it onto her right ring finger. 

They smiled at each other, and Claude's felt genuine for once. He felt relaxed, and as if he formed a new bond with her, one that she understood too. It was no longer one sided.

She placed her hands on his arms, moving closer to him.

"Claude."

She breathed, gazing up into his eyes. His face was red, his brow raised, and she tilted her head up to meet his lips.

Claude's heart stopped instantly, his mind forgetting everything. He slowly moved his hands and carressed her face, holding her in for a moment, savoring the feeling of her lips against his and how badly he wanted this for so long. He felt his chest grow warm, her fingers pressing into his arms, feeling her body so close to his in such a sweet way. He sighed as her hands moved up to rest on his shoulders, imagining what could have been. 

She pulled away, Claude noticing her eyes watering. She touched his hand on her face, her voice cracking.

"Claude…"

"I'll be fine," he choked out, also trying to conceal his tears. "Thank you, my friend."

She wrapped her arms around him, his arms pulling her in tight. There was silence for a moment, until there was a sob.

Claude made her cry.

The last time he saw her cry was when he returned for the first time after three years of silence. He tried to figure out if he hurt her feelings or if she was so happy--

"I love you. I just want you to be happy with us. Please, don't hold onto me. Please…"

It was empathetic tears, one that Claude never really felt or understood. He could hardly feel for someone else's pain unless it was his own, but now, Byleth was crying  _ for _ him.

He frowned, "I know where my heart is. I can't help but long for you. But please, be happy with him for me. It's where you belong."

They broke apart, Claude wiping the tears from her face. The two walked inside, Claude's chest feeling lighter than before. He walked her to her chambers, taking her hand one last time. He lifted it to his mouth, gently kissing the ring. She smiled, turning to join Dimitri in bed.

Claude stood alone outside their room.

He turned down the hall to walk to his quarters. Slowly, he changed his outfit and prepared for bed, laying down, staring at the ceiling, thinking of where he could possibly belong, and if here was the best answer. So long as his heart was longing, maybe this was the best place to stay.


End file.
